Ok I admit, I went numb due to reasons that I felt something, ‘something’ true. And I experienced it twice in my lifetime already… other words one sided.
One was way back in high school, he’s kinda big brother to me… I dunno since he was the one who always listened to me… I kept myself hidden, for like 2 years I guess, I lost count… confuse was the right word at that time since my battle for his friendship was prioritize more than what I felt. True, I did get hurt when he told me he liked someone. Ironically until now, they’re together but it made me realized that the hiding part was a ok since he still respect me as what I am. Oh about my feelings? They’re kinda gone… completely and time was really really the one who aided me since. I felt happy for them and I won’t be surprised if those two would end up getting married. Ha! I’ll be there witnessing it without any second thoughts.
Second happened in college, I fell for someone who was a complete loser! Hahhaha but he’s nice, very talkative and we have some similarities as well. I must say that we don’t get to talk that much before and I guess he sees me like an aquated friend. Still the question bugs me why on earth did I ever like him for the first place. Its like it happened suddenly, unlike earlier there was a constant exposure but this, all we did was smile, chit chat a lil and that’s it. Maybe I was really really drawn to him I guess. Aka this person is the reason why I started again to post to this blog. Booho! Just read the previous entries in 2008 about this one.
Yes the problem with me is that I really don’t like people to notice something… I dunno maybe I’m scared! Still when it comes to that aspect of life, I’ll fail perfectly. People surrounding me keeps asking me why oh why I’m still single… maybe ‘daw’ because I act funny o like a tomboyish way? What’s wrong with that, I mean that’s the me since elementary…for all I care but then yes sometimes it does get lonely when you’re the only one eating in a canteen or walking around alone last valetine’s day in the mall or even keep remembering that stupid date that they got hooked up… (Flashback again on the cr scene tsk tsk)
So if you ask what’s half of my heart?? Mostly it’s blank… or like a wet newspaper been splashed in the rain…
PS: OK! i'm getting pissed of in editing my previous entry! waaaah and my comment box is above the posts plus my shoutbox is missing! hahahai i think i need to renew everything!
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