light up the sky

light, its something that everyone looks up to since it clears things... driving away the darkness that has succumb one's inner beast inside... really everyone has its own share of mr. hyde... the only problem is how ugly will be you mr hyde looks like, not physically though but how he embraces the issues in life...

well guess my inner ugliness or hydiness has surprisingly comes nowadays more often. have no idea why but i blame this to which had happened last month... the ones with the you-kno-who and being hitched with somone unbelievable... anyhow life is not that predictable and i'm not to waste my time stalking one's actions, except if he is in my peripheral vision. that way no matter how ignorant i look in my mind are the words i would like to ask, questions i would like to clear out or simply hearing exactly what i wanted to hear that are still haunting me... not in my sleep but still in my subconscious. sublimation did work somehow and i'm happy for that part..

the true solution was not ignorance but replacement

my attention was or is well into someone else nowadays... hehehe maybe i am a sucker for this kind of issues... i have no idea really on what was i thinking but as i realized it, it was kinda healhty for me... i know its kinda wrong becuase he already has a girlfriend... her girlriend is nice and a lil bit naning hehhe coz i was under her (she was a student head nurse) way back when we had our duty in 4a night shift... she was okay and she seems to be very charming,yet my first impression on her was like snobbish kind of girl... thus, again i will again remain from afar at least he knows me pud and tries to talk... first encounter was i think during my gimik days, we just talk and he was funny. i was not into him... yet because i was still busy drooling to the other one... hahaha talk about drooling but anyways he is a good replacement... no not a replacement rather a new inspiration... and i have reasons again to look forward to school espcially practice days nyahhaha (e.i saturdays on the gym in mandaue) for the hundred nights... ^_^

time is a good healer coz i don't get fucked up anymore when he's around... thus, it's a good sign

my ugliness may have appeared more often yet i don't get that fucked up life like before... on the brighter side, i was able to almost to complete my OR cases. only one major to go... heheh i was pretty damn lucky... as for getting along with people that i thought i would never be friends with are kinda weird... i mean i never thought that they were that shallow...it'sjust proved one thing that don't judged immediately,like i care at first but second impressions surely lasts longer...

i know i have missed 2 straight sundays already without attendsing any masses,i'm not that religious but i dear say that evrything i did for the past few days were really blessings... they gave me insights to what i stand in life and well opens up to new opportunities,

that i am worth living for,
i am not alone with this challenge.
seriously i may have suck with my responsibitlities as a person but then again there's always light..no matter what color that light would be