Like most people we have some really weirdness inside of us. It could be a monster, a sick habit or the biggest secret that you have to die if others will know. Yeah I guess watching anime made me think this way… the feeling that why on earth I was born this way or why on earth I have to deal with useless things! Like boredom or annoying people… maybe that’s the reason why I get pissed off I people tend to say cartoons to anime, hello! Cartoons are aimless! Their goal is to laugh your ass off i.e. spongebob. I admit that some anime have this shallow storyboard but then they kicked you right on the middle or the end. Like bubu chacha for example, what I learned from it that you can’t always please everyone and life’s too short to waste it; to think a baby and his talking car made me realize those hahhahaha
Still I am attached to this system I guess… although I can’t see myself as an otaku unlike before… (high school memories flashing!)
What I truelly find about my self that I can “mostly” relate to anime character are two things: soujiro seta’s smile and being a reaction formation
Seta’s smile is like a mask… you know what I mean… a façade that creates an illusion to everyone; basically just to put a good face or other words hide the true feelings! Hmmmmm basically I wear this smile, yes its genuine since I’ve been practicing it! How do I know if it’s effective?? They say that I always have an airy atmosphere like humming birds chirping sort of stuff or that they smile back and ask the reason for my being smileyness…. Either way all of them were fooled… no wonder that when I complained they still have to guess which interventions to keep me company. And for the record, I’m showing signs of a histrionic kind of personality, which is like way way off. The reason? I always tell everyone what I’m doing through sms… hmmm not quite since I have nothing better to do and that people ask me these stuff… still the seta’s smile works every time I’m in deep deep trouble
In psychiatry, reaction formation is someone who acts the opposite of what he truly desires to do. Yeah I’m really really like that! It’s like a hard habit, not that I’m medically ill that is, but I see myself doing stuff that I don’t want to. For example, I hate watching Filipino films but somehow I end up watching katorse (because of enchong dee) or that I kept on denying that I like someone so much during my review board days that when I was alone and saw him around the vicinity I usually had this action of saying hi to him with a big smile splattered on my face. So much for the denial part… so ok ok I think I guess this is kinda sick! Or I am sick, literally! I’m trying though as to say what’s on my mind but then I have second thoughts for I had an incident of being frank too much that end up having enemies of my own… life is so unfair
And I am so stubborn that I have these dilemmas of dealing with other people’s issues….
Intimidating?? Nah!
**mask image by hengki24
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