Third SEX trending

Funny the question people ask these days is not if you’re single…

the third sexes [sources 1 & 2]

Try to guess… Yup it’s usually a question if you’re straight or not…

I know kinda creepy for a girl like who came from a country that somehow despise the practice of third sex… yet when you see clearly almost all the youngsters of this generation has somewhat blindly embracing the trends of western culture.

I get it we Filipinos can be copycats of our own but in some cases trending of hitting both sexes isn’t quite clear to me. Kinda shock that almost all are doing it while outside the mask of society rules, rules, rules usually hit you right back.

Which rules are right anyway? The new trend or the old ones?

Personally I have no grudges on the third sex thing. Got loads of friends who are practicing it and I respect the decision and actions they make. The disturbing part is that some people kinda went overboard just well to get attention. My first guess is usually attention from others, so that people will notice you. Let’s face it some people are hunger for fame, even it is in the direction of lameness.

It’s hard to stop since its trending, I don’t call it love… I usually see it as an excuse or a ticket to get attention. For some reason my cousin’s friend had this weird experience of an ex boyfriend. Typically the ex was just courting the girl just to get close with the girl’s guy friend. Hard right? Using someone just to get what he wants. Indeed it’s cruel. Worst part is that the girl is already in love with the gay guy. So this means that the poorest sex would be the straight females. Anyways this life isn’t a competition. The problems lies on the stuff people do. Turning into a casual thing. We can say it’s ok since everyone is doing it but when someone close to you is a victim, think again.

Exhibit A: some really enjoy this

One thing I hate about this third sex stuff is that some people usually label a good looking guy gay! Just because the guy is clean, neat and well do things slowly. Is there any standards for it? I don’t know any more if which is which since mostly some of them are true and some of them are bogus. The things people do.

Exhibit B: fan service? i dunno

The worst part is forcing stuff that are kinda not cool to look at. Like the pictures above,the good atmosphere on a good picture I’m looking at is ruin. Or like some celebrities forcing to kiss onstage just to get publicity. Hence if you have a boyfriend, you better watch out for thieves on both sexes. As for the singles, you better look clearly unto the ones you like.

Meet the Yaoi

The male to male lovemaking. There are lots of anime out there previewing this and sometimes it’s not cute anymore. I get disturbed for longer periods but I can’t help it to stop popping it out of no where. It's like the females enjoying their form of porn as well.[source]

Meet the Yuri

The female version of yaoi. I have no idea which is better or sicker? when it comes to animes or drawings it usually doesn't offend me. I think it depends on the art but when you see it in real life; disturbing actually… [source]

Even after reading this post over and over again so that it won’t sound like gender biased, I can’t helped it. If this is a sexism kind of post or you find it streotypish kind of way..sorry…I dunno… opinions are on my head. Alarming on what I am actually seeing at the world right now.

I don’t know when this will stop but I just hope that innocent lives will be spared. There are lots of ugly stories out there revolving this category. Hitting two at one at a time, I guess lust is a strong sin.

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Imperfect

Sick of hearing it!
Sick of hearing how fat I am. I get it, I’m big so what? It’s not the end of the world!

what the fucking problem of being fat?! [source]

It’s not your problem why I’m like this…

It’s not your problem why I don’t have a boyfriend…

It’s not your problem why if ever I’ll be dead due to diabetes, heart attack or sort of disease that’s gonna clog up my veins or arteries…

It’s just that I’m sick… completely pissed of hearing these words over and over again for the past years. Since then I just laugh about it, but my bucket of smiles are empty… running out of any patience that I need to wipe out someone…

It’s not your problem that I like eating...

It’s not your problem that I like food so much especially sweets...

It’s not your problem that I usually munch on things when studying...

It’s not your problem that my stomach screams for food once in a while...

Is there any place for some weight on? Is there any problem if I gain a few pounds? So what if I have problems of being overweight now? I get it you don’t have to drill my skull to get to the point.

I’m proud of having this, it’s me, it’s not some crazy person who wants to look good that she ends up starving to death, or have severe stage of ulcers or worse using money just to pamper one self or just to get attention to everyone. That’s plainly aesthetic! I use my brain wisely, I don’t make decisions base on what others tell you too. I don’t give in to their demands and that you should be thankful that I have the thing to control everything I am since I know my limits.

That’s what I hate about society, making up what’s normal! Just because all you see are thin people, I am an eyesore then…

people tend to see what's outside, idiots! [source]

People are different, I have my own uniqueness. Good thing I don’t do drugs just to loose weight. See those actress on tv? Mostly the faces are fake anyway that I don’t know what’s real to them.

I do eat a balance diet, but still girls have these excess package that its kinda hard to pull it off. Exercise? Well I did but since you want to focus my attention to studying that I clearly stop going to the gym and concentrating on sitting. If only I could drill these words to your skull too.

I can handle this, since I am like this since before. I hate it even typing these words makes me want to literally punch you on the face even if we are related.

Imperfect! Plus I don’t want to be controlled. All I want you to do is just relax and let me handle this. Maybe I should use those drugs just to shut the hell out of you.

My posts are becoming lame I know but it’s my medium of release for me

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Busted

Typically I got busted…again

found out again yet i didn't take back anything
image by marypops

Come to think of it, I got caught writing something bad to a person twice. First one was in first year college and the second was lately a week ago.

As for the first incident, my anger led me to write down unto a blog using one of those social sites, Friendster. I guess it was public at that time and I have no idea of it to be easily read by my friends on the site. Naïve. I’m looking for a tool actually that I can use to export those blogs here but nothing worked so far. I completely forgot on why on earth I was writing it, all I could remember is that my head was not in a good mood plus usually my only way of handling stress is through writing. I’m not a writer or anything but I find it an easy medium to release it more like sublimation, rather than using displacement or projection. So back to the first discovery, yeah those two literally read it and were sorry. I can still remember the reactions on their faces I guess I was hinting too much on the blog since they got it so easily. I’m a person who likes to use descriptions rather than names… confidentiality bases? Yeah I guess so but I usually don’t find totality hatred on the person, only the actions which are irritating. I suck on holding grudges for so long. Good thing people moved on plus still we have these ok relationships with those two. It wasn’t so bad and both of us learned from it too.

As for the second discovery, it was the frenemy; the same person who I used to describe last post. Well to my dismay, she found out about this blog. As for me I was shocked as hell. While waiting for the time to watch the Eclipse movie, she sent me a sms. I didn’t bother to open at first since I was kinda busy. Next thing I know, I was cursing at the top of my lungs with the twins laughing at me. I even texted my cousin, Lara and Carmi bout it but they just laughed about it too. Yes I freaked out since I know the exact words I used. Reality hit me; it was a good thing actually. At least now, she knows something about it, she’s aware about it. Why didn’t I tell her personally? I’m a person that doesn’t like unpleasant encounters. Plus my encounter was for a short term, wasn’t having any plans to stick around with her. It’s not like that I’m using her, the longer I stick with her the easily get annoyed on everything she does. It’s bothersome but maybe I was being annoying. It’s kinda hard to explain but I guess there are some people who befriend you are better seeing through only few times, not 24/7. It’s her beliefs what maker me irritated sometimes. Her principles maybe are not the things I believe but there is nothing I can do, I can’t force to change her if that are the things which make her what she is.

confused if what she's saying where true or not
image by sage18

How did she found out? Simple! Through my ym account. Not ready to showcase this blog to the friends I have since I’ll be killed for sure. Paranoid is one thing I am. Although I have some followers to this blog, I find it ok because only a few people know my schemes. I also trust them on reading about these schemes. I forgot that I wired my blog to my ym before when I was in high school. Busted totally.

So how things between her? Still friends but some changes. I guess she had it pretty bad since she doesn’t come to any of the review classes with me. We still have communication but I was the one at fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I apologized of course but she was the one who spaced away, my instincts are telling me she’s searching for another ally with this exam. Funny thing is that a very reliable source told me some view points about her and it’s the same as what I experienced. No wonder she’s like that now.

If she finds out this post again, I congratulate her. Oh yeah sorry again for calling her frenemy. I thought about changing this site address but found it would be useless. I don’t know also if you find this post or any of my previous posts being a meany but clearly that is what I feel writing about stuffs. Like I said, this is my sublimation, a coping that I found useful and harmless.

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Ping Me: an Update

This would be just an update to what I’m busy with.

First my eligibility for NCLEX had arrived and that I surely taking a serious mode on the review thingy. So my schedule is tight with watching anime or series and reading mangas still intact. I’m so happy that I am able to reach katekyo hitman reborn’s latest episode. As of the moment, the latest episode is 190. Just 20 episodes to go and that I’m done, pure stream and that veoh player was my alibi on this. As for the mangas, kurushitsuji is so damn slow on the progress but the latest chapter is pretty good.

yes its cracking...
image by morrighan03

As for the other aspect, my brother has its own laptop and my cousin has a new notebook too. That leaves to me the eldest with the old pc. Damn! Just you wait for earnings and I’ll buy my own laptop. Still on bargaining my father not to disconnect our smartbro and to buy a router to have wifi! Inches to make him say yes hahahaha

Fifa is on the corner. The team I’m betting is still alive! Go argentina! I hope you do good on the quarter finals… betting on Gonzalo Higuain to do that stuff! Spain isn’t bad also plus those Germans do know how to play a good game with the crowds wowing!

Back to NCLEX, I’m having trouble with my friend wait frenemy on when to take the NCLEX. I wanted to take it on September, she wanted to take it on August. August is still early for me since I started second week in June to get my studying straight! Plus she’s the one who decided to stop with the review! If only I decided to ditch her, but that would be rude. My brain hurts, wanting to take with her or should I take alone. My mom bets on taking alone just to make sure. Her mother doesn’t allow her to extend, but I already gave up time on for her to decide but taking it early is a very huge risk. Not only that it’s expensive, but a one time take since the California state requires their state’s SSS number. I can’t do that! I’m still sticking September as my target month, I’m just being careful not reckless. The worse part is that the reason she wants an early take is that a hospital already called her and took the exam. I wasn’t even able to pass the requirements because I was afraid that it would clash on my exam date. Plus she’s not even sure if she passed the exam. It’s not my problem, I already told her that possibility but she pursued it anyway. I don’t want to go with her decision since she already made a wrong one before. I answered her that by the end of July she would get an answer from me.

its a love angle not triangle
image by iann7

This isn’t my business but I can’t stand it. Regards to my brother on his new chic he found. You see this chic was the same person my brother’s best friend tried to court. He failed but didn’t give up that yet. As for one thing my brother, his best friend and this chic are classmates so ultimately they would see each other in school. The best friend however kinda let it slide of courting the chic since he always gets busted. I don’t know if my brother asked any permission or had any closure with his best friend but they stop talking after my brother when for that chic. As for that chic, I don’t know. I feel irritated I mean she obviously know that they are super close friends what the hell he said yes to my brother. As for my brother, what on earth was he thinking ditching his long time friend for a girl! Man its like total wreck, another good relationship went down because of that. I have nothing against that chic, it’s that her action made me judge right away that she has a defect or something. Typing about it makes me annoyed but I can’t stand it! My own brother blinded with that! Typically that couple won’t last knowing my brother but then again I don’t about his best friend though. I even told my brother that clearly he’s the wrong guy on this scenario. He just laughed and won’t listen. Fine then go for the hard way.

Feels kinda relief after those paragraphs. As for other updates, I’m still being jailed for debts! When will this horror ends. Stupid stupid me for being suck a weakling on food! July is here and time time time is oh so precious. Procrastinating should stay away! I miss my friends, the close ones and that spending with frenemy is the only choice I got to be able to remind myself the horrible thing if I fail!

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Wedding anyone?

Half of the year has arrived and still I have no job nor took the NCLEX exam for once. Rainy months with school gates opening give back memories down when I was so excited to have my very cool pencil box and lunch money! Back then it was so simple that all I have to do is ace some exams so that parents would be proud of me… ok ok I have to admit I like to be praised a lot with what I accomplished. Hence I was kinda of a bookworm during elementary and high school days. College changed my vision drastically. Its more like what you want what you do what you get sort of persona. Independence. Oh yes I still love to be praised but my basic instincts on adjusting with people took that away eventually led me to a persona that watches people a lot, from different angles I guess. Now here I am typing this as a person who likes to see people go up, down and down some more.

Missing school? Hell no! It’s the people I guess… never actually pictured out that someday I would actually share these stuffs to a simple site; plus who would waste their time reading on this. A year passed, so what now? For some few friends of mine, they have the job, passed the exam or better yet married.

Intimacy vs. isolation as what Erik Erickson mentioned on the social developmental task of a human being, the young adult.

Physically mature but emotionally flat and spiritually evil. Those words suit me very nicely. For the social aspect? I’ll get to you in that…in due time.

Weddings have been an astonishing fantasy of every girl since childhood (bride wars movie), hmm not to me that is. Yet, in our section in college we have the most number of people married already. Reasons? Unwanted pregnancy? Could be but lets rephrase it to unplanned pregnancy. How about love?? Maybe. Every time I asked a newlywed, they would answered they were sure of the decision and not at least regretted about it. Not quit answering my question. I’m not totally convinced but seeing them tying the knots could be a thrilling more like nerve-racking experience for them. Plus I always check the in-laws reactions of during the whole ceremony thing, that’s the best part of having this early marriages stuff. The in-laws usually give the clear meanings to the wedding.

Yes I have my own life but like I said I enjoy watching people going up, down and down some more. Not saying that marrying early is so bad, it’s that some are going there where I’m here stuck. Stuck on keeping company to myself.

As of now I have clearly no plans of having kids or whatsoever, remember the word independence. This term has been engraved on my skull that my priorities is to get a really nice en route to my life towards traveling and repaying people that I love.

Ok ok I’ll explain my so-called dream wedding even if it’s not really ideal as of the moment. I’m just thinking of stuff to write but hey it’s June and I’m giving the mic to my ego for a change:


Ø I like to have both church and civil weddings
Ø Must be on an autumn month
Ø I like the idea of an autumn themed wedding complete with the maple leaves
Ø Single bridesmaids & groomsmen would be a plus sign
Ø Ceremony on the beach wait make it a park since its autumn themed
Ø No idea who my maid of honor would be
Ø Reception? No idea but the food must be great maybe a 4-5 coursed meal
Ø Cake? I dunno just not white and boring
Ø High school and college with relatives should be there
Ø The color rust and gold would be great
Ø Would be a day that it’s the happiest

Mainly that’s it… and for the record, I predict that none would be in my so called lists hahhahaha anyways I’m introducing some friends of mine who tied the knot earlier this year.

(1) Juzzy with hubby Micheal (2)Clauds with main squeeze Mckoy

(3) Harvey with Jkae (4) Xiang with hubby Janjan

(4) Marie with herman Duke (5) my teacher Diana with husband Earl

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Small Pleasures

Feeling crappy upon waking up, my mind was stuck on a constant thing. stuck. I guess that word would eventually be my partner in crime for the following weeks or maybe months! The horror!

a nice hug from ipin to lambo

My fingers were my saviors for the day typing random stuff on google and yahoo. So this was the result of using your instinct for a change.

Small pleasures while not spending money! what a relief!! ^___^ (original article here) you gotta appreciate the little things which is so true; the bold ones are my usual reasons to smile

1. coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)
2. crisp cotton sheets
3. soft skin
4. old family recipes
5. the first daffodils of spring
6. sleeping in
7. an exercise endorphin high
8. window boxes
9. a perfect cup of coffee
10. a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
11. the way babies smell
12. a handwritten letter
13. waking up in a good mood...for no real reason
14. singing in the shower
15. finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket
16. doing something nice for your neighbor
17. a home cooked meal
18. laughing
19. movie theater popcorn
20. playing hookey
21. a bubble bath
22. swimming
23. an afternoon nap
24. street musicians
25. your favorite song
26. saying thank you
27. helping someone in need
28. old fashioned photo booths
29. fresh whipped cream
30. inspiring blogs
31. a glass of wine
32. rainy afternoons
33. the funny things kids say
34. a novel you can get lost in
35. finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale
36. clean laundry
37. the wind in your hair
38. treating the person behind you at the drive-thru
39. sharing an umbrella
40. the smell of lavender
41. a long walk that clears your head
42. a bear hug
43. The Beatles
44. smiling at a stranger
45. eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)
46. butterflies
47. staying in your pj's all day
48. singing along to the radio and knowing all the words
49. fresh herbs
50. ordering in pizza
51. happy endings...even if they're fictional
52. flying a kite
53. puppies
54. root beer floats
55. holding open the door...
56. ...or having someone hold the door for you
57. fountain soda
58. white, fluffy towels
59. sunshine
60. spending an afternoon at a museum
61. really great advice
62. green lights all the way home
63. the sound of rain hitting the windows
64. sitting in a booth
65. holding hands
66. a great hair day with no effort
67. building a fort with your kids
68. when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder
69. fireflies
70. the perfect taco
71. geraniums on a windowsill
72. slow dancing
73. the smell of fresh-baked bread
74. cheesy, uplifting musicals
75. great stories
    
76. the smell of gasoline
77. the cold side of the pillow
78. love letters
79. old friends...
80. ...new friends
81. a pull-through parking space
82. a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside
83. when a dog licks your hand
84. sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner
85. using your favorite dishes
86. reading your child a bedtime story
87. Girl Scout Cookies
88. flossing
89. kissing someone you love
90. the smell of onions and garlic cooking
91. hot chocolate
92. jumping in puddles
93. old photographs
    
94. birds hopping on the sidewalk
95. Ella Fitzgerald
96. a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
97. your softest t-shirt
98. a new magazine in the mail
99. fireplaces
100. having exact change
101. bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning

***image 1 by Chancake
***image 2 by Dmstei00
***image 3 by GreenifyME

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88 Truths

A friend tagged me this note. wow and they were truths indeed... the italicized ones would be my truths that kinda struck me the most.. enjoy reading! oh yeah the link to this is right here.

1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.

2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.

3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.

4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.

5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.

6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.

7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.

8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.

9. Yelling always makes things worse.

10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.

11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.

12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot. ( hahahhaha)

14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.

15. Nobody has it all figured out.

16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.

17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.

19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.

20. People embellish everything, as a rule.

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.

23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

26. Credit card debt devours souls.

27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.

28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.

32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.

33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.

35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.

36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.

37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.

38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.

39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.

40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.

41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.

42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.

43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.

44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.

46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.

47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.

49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.

50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.

51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.

52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.

53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.

54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.

55. By default, people think far too much.

56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it. (sleeeeep!)

57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.

58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.

59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.

60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.

61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.

62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.

63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.(guilty!)

64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.

65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.

66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.

67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.

68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.(so agree to this)

69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.

70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.

71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.

72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.

73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.

74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.

75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.

76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.

78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.

79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.

80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.

81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.

82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.

83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.

84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.

85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.

86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself. (i wish a lot!)

87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.

88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back (procrastinate baby!)

well that's about it hehehe technically i scanned the list like thrice already and still it bugs me heehehe

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Spilling the Beans

Like most people we have some really weirdness inside of us. It could be a monster, a sick habit or the biggest secret that you have to die if others will know. Yeah I guess watching anime made me think this way… the feeling that why on earth I was born this way or why on earth I have to deal with useless things! Like boredom or annoying people… maybe that’s the reason why I get pissed off I people tend to say cartoons to anime, hello! Cartoons are aimless! Their goal is to laugh your ass off i.e. spongebob. I admit that some anime have this shallow storyboard but then they kicked you right on the middle or the end. Like bubu chacha for example, what I learned from it that you can’t always please everyone and life’s too short to waste it; to think a baby and his talking car made me realize those hahhahaha

Still I am attached to this system I guess… although I can’t see myself as an otaku unlike before… (high school memories flashing!)

What I truelly find about my self that I can “mostly” relate to anime character are two things: soujiro seta’s smile and being a reaction formation



Seta’s smile is like a mask… you know what I mean… a façade that creates an illusion to everyone; basically just to put a good face or other words hide the true feelings! Hmmmmm basically I wear this smile, yes its genuine since I’ve been practicing it! How do I know if it’s effective?? They say that I always have an airy atmosphere like humming birds chirping sort of stuff or that they smile back and ask the reason for my being smileyness…. Either way all of them were fooled… no wonder that when I complained they still have to guess which interventions to keep me company. And for the record, I’m showing signs of a histrionic kind of personality, which is like way way off. The reason? I always tell everyone what I’m doing through sms… hmmm not quite since I have nothing better to do and that people ask me these stuff… still the seta’s smile works every time I’m in deep deep trouble


In psychiatry, reaction formation is someone who acts the opposite of what he truly desires to do. Yeah I’m really really like that! It’s like a hard habit, not that I’m medically ill that is, but I see myself doing stuff that I don’t want to. For example, I hate watching Filipino films but somehow I end up watching katorse (because of enchong dee) or that I kept on denying that I like someone so much during my review board days that when I was alone and saw him around the vicinity I usually had this action of saying hi to him with a big smile splattered on my face. So much for the denial part… so ok ok I think I guess this is kinda sick! Or I am sick, literally! I’m trying though as to say what’s on my mind but then I have second thoughts for I had an incident of being frank too much that end up having enemies of my own… life is so unfair

And I am so stubborn that I have these dilemmas of dealing with other people’s issues….
Intimidating?? Nah!

**mask image by hengki24

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Oddness of People

I’m not a friendly person. I tend to hide my face with a fisherman’s hat in high school. I had short hair with bangs sticking out on my way before. I get paranoid walking through roads with people staring and was usually quite in an unfamiliar environment. Before, I was shy and preferred to entertain my mind than others now I’m like a bird being set free from a cage that doesn’t shut up.

College changed me dramatically… both negative and positive ones. During gatherings, I’m always wearing a smile. I guess that’s what I get for keeping myself to myself.


I do receive a lot of comments before about being unhappy, moody, grumpy, having a frown face and being ungrateful to the world. One time while boarding a ship for cebu, this crew, who checked tickets, suddenly asked about my grumpy face. I felt weird why he asked but replied I needed more sleep (liar!). That’s what I hate most about strangers; they usually asked stupid questions to get your attention. I wasn’t pissed more like annoyed. I’m not a fan of strangers hence if I don’t know you and acted like close buddies to me, beware. Its either I’ll ignore you or I’ll shot a dead look. Both were and still effective.

Another thing is through texting (sms message). That’s another battlefield that people are so giddy about. The net’s another thing but my phone number is personal to me. That’s why when someone asked me my number and I don’t know him or her, I usually give them my unused sim number (globe). Yup I tried rejecting them and replied to stop asking but only it gets worse, bugging me endlessly… sigh. Messages that involve bulking too much in my inbox also are annoying. More like you have to ask the person one by one plus these questions aren’t important at all (e.g. “what you doin?”, “naguncha ka?” (what you doin), “asa ka karn?” (where you at?), “ni eat naka?” (have you eaten?). I came upon one time about asking if I want to hang out with him, I said no cause I don’t know him, he kept on insisting, I said no. When I didn’t reply, the bastard called. I ignored the call, still kept on calling, hmmm I guess it was 6-9 times around 11 in the evening. My surroundings got pissed why I won’t answer it. Finally, I answered and put in front of the amplifier where a slipknot song was on the background. Ha! The bastard texted that why on the earth I did that, I replied that he was annoying, selfish and find himself a girlfriend that he’ll court personally, not on a piece of technology. After that, unknown numbers didn’t annoy me. That served them right!


Another thing that I find pretty annoying is selfishness. I’m not talking about the gluttony, hmmm the one who prefers to see me, and only me. I hate that kind of crap! Users is what I call them… others tend to be blind as well for they have become uncap able slaves to these users, pity. Remember the buddy hangover post? Man that was annoying! Not only that I found excuses not to go to the university since my cousin was in a brick of breakdown and needed my help, still this person insisted to go, hai! I felt that I was fooled and I had wasted taxi money, tsk tsk. Good thing my cousin was still in one piece when I arrived at her place.

Yes I am whining and yes I do have my own flaws as well. Still I can’t believe why people had these traits that are very, very unpleasant. The world is a web of unfairness and I had to deal with them, everyday!

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