Quarter Life Crisis

Borrowed and read the book, It’s kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. Practically light and fun to read which probably you could finish it by one sitting. I discovered there the term quarter life crises. As what my memory served me, it was like the half of the middle life crises or the age after your teen years where you have to face the reality.

 the book ain't bad, try reading it [image source]

So I googled this one since a friend of mine asked if this thing exist:

‘The quarterlife crisis is a period of life following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult. The term was coined by analogy with mid-life crisis.’

True it exists now since basically I think I have it…
 

According to Erikson’s 8 crises on human being, we have these social crises to overcome in every developmental stage. Adolescent has the identity vs. role confusion. I did however trouble on who I was way back but I did get over it. Young adulthood has intimacy vs. isolation. I guess I have trouble facing reality now due to some intimacy issues I guess. Funny when I just learned about this on college, I said to myself I didn’t experience nay crisis on every stage…yet. I was wrong. It all started to think about it when I had work. I guess I need to get out of there. Somehow work has drawn me into some self-hate. Due maybe to some circumstances of failed responsibilities or that it was so simple that I over analyzed it. Either way still I found some self-hate which scares me.
 

I guess I hate having responsibilities, but I need some finances to survive though. So should I quit then? Sooner maybe but I have to finish the contract then, as for now all I ask is to have passion on it.

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Busted

Typically I got busted…again

found out again yet i didn't take back anything
image by marypops

Come to think of it, I got caught writing something bad to a person twice. First one was in first year college and the second was lately a week ago.

As for the first incident, my anger led me to write down unto a blog using one of those social sites, Friendster. I guess it was public at that time and I have no idea of it to be easily read by my friends on the site. Naïve. I’m looking for a tool actually that I can use to export those blogs here but nothing worked so far. I completely forgot on why on earth I was writing it, all I could remember is that my head was not in a good mood plus usually my only way of handling stress is through writing. I’m not a writer or anything but I find it an easy medium to release it more like sublimation, rather than using displacement or projection. So back to the first discovery, yeah those two literally read it and were sorry. I can still remember the reactions on their faces I guess I was hinting too much on the blog since they got it so easily. I’m a person who likes to use descriptions rather than names… confidentiality bases? Yeah I guess so but I usually don’t find totality hatred on the person, only the actions which are irritating. I suck on holding grudges for so long. Good thing people moved on plus still we have these ok relationships with those two. It wasn’t so bad and both of us learned from it too.

As for the second discovery, it was the frenemy; the same person who I used to describe last post. Well to my dismay, she found out about this blog. As for me I was shocked as hell. While waiting for the time to watch the Eclipse movie, she sent me a sms. I didn’t bother to open at first since I was kinda busy. Next thing I know, I was cursing at the top of my lungs with the twins laughing at me. I even texted my cousin, Lara and Carmi bout it but they just laughed about it too. Yes I freaked out since I know the exact words I used. Reality hit me; it was a good thing actually. At least now, she knows something about it, she’s aware about it. Why didn’t I tell her personally? I’m a person that doesn’t like unpleasant encounters. Plus my encounter was for a short term, wasn’t having any plans to stick around with her. It’s not like that I’m using her, the longer I stick with her the easily get annoyed on everything she does. It’s bothersome but maybe I was being annoying. It’s kinda hard to explain but I guess there are some people who befriend you are better seeing through only few times, not 24/7. It’s her beliefs what maker me irritated sometimes. Her principles maybe are not the things I believe but there is nothing I can do, I can’t force to change her if that are the things which make her what she is.

confused if what she's saying where true or not
image by sage18

How did she found out? Simple! Through my ym account. Not ready to showcase this blog to the friends I have since I’ll be killed for sure. Paranoid is one thing I am. Although I have some followers to this blog, I find it ok because only a few people know my schemes. I also trust them on reading about these schemes. I forgot that I wired my blog to my ym before when I was in high school. Busted totally.

So how things between her? Still friends but some changes. I guess she had it pretty bad since she doesn’t come to any of the review classes with me. We still have communication but I was the one at fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I apologized of course but she was the one who spaced away, my instincts are telling me she’s searching for another ally with this exam. Funny thing is that a very reliable source told me some view points about her and it’s the same as what I experienced. No wonder she’s like that now.

If she finds out this post again, I congratulate her. Oh yeah sorry again for calling her frenemy. I thought about changing this site address but found it would be useless. I don’t know also if you find this post or any of my previous posts being a meany but clearly that is what I feel writing about stuffs. Like I said, this is my sublimation, a coping that I found useful and harmless.

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