This Blog is Alive!

Hey kiddos!

I dunno if really somebody reads this blog. Anyhow just trying to put together some peices to make this one work again...

It's been 2 years I guess since I last posted something...

Still the same but there are some major changes though like my age and the friends I surround with...

Just excited I guess to be able to post again my thoughts and rumblings. Soooooo many stuff I want to share like music, food and experiences both awesome and terrible.

I still don't get some of the links and css codes for one thing but the internet is a very big and wonderful place to find answers from.

I added some new tunes though for this blog hahahha kinda loving that one! As for the rest, I hope my blog will still be readable hahahha

Ciao for now!

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Pseudo Tumblr List # 28

5 things that Irritate You about the Opposite/Same sex

 love how this cat look hahaha [image source]

1] pride – some people have super high egos that are so damn irritating. I do admit I have pride myself, but there are just some beings that even though they’re going to some rough times financially, they still will commit to useless stuff.

2] superficial – yes people are getting shallow that it somehow overshadows what’s true. I can’t blame them also since society has brought this up. Trends are ok but overdoing it has somehow lost the values and moralities. Look at some of the youth today who are wasted. They should have realized that being famous or having the latest fashion doesn’t secure happiness.

3] yappers – these guys are those who talk and talk and talk some more. They need to broadcast every little thing about their lives through social sites or sms. I don’t need to hear every little detail about it even if you going to take a dump or something.

4] flesh maniacs - I don’t know about this but there are some people out there who likes to show their bodies on their social network sites. Showing on their two piece or one piece shots with provocative or not so provocative positions on photographs, then making it a primary photo.  Aren’t they aware that they are loads of perverts online and well can actually grab them, use them as wallpaper and do nasty stuff about them?

5] know it all – although I like to hear what other people’s thoughts, but there are some that sees them as well too much. I don’t know everything; you don’t know everything also so what’s the point of arguing on some stuff? We should always remember that there are people who are smarter or dumber than us. The worst part is saying those stuffs but when you put it into actions, negative results.

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Stopping the Party

After all these years, I’m still doing the stuff I had been since college. The difference is that the people are random. I don’t get it. I keep coming back on it when my brain tells me to stop. Is this some kind of addiction that every time I end up meeting new people I end up doing the same?
 

I have to admit that way back I was kinda curious about this kinda lifestyle. Doing parties on weekends, getaways or roadtrips and pigging out sessions with people. Now that I have a taste of it, it’s kinda dull. I guess because I keep doing it with different people that makes me going. It’s tiring, redundant and abusive to my sanity. Tried drinking or binge drinking, smoking whether its cigarettes or weed, and sleepless nights or hangovers on work. I don’t do drugs or any kinky stuff whatsoever that I keep my dignity intact. You know the feeling of being high? Not the drug addiction part, but the kind of you want to be lost in the music on the background, swaying your hair to the sweat and just laugh your problems away. Reaching your hands up in the air, banging you neck to the beat and doing whatever you wanna do. Party animal? Nah! I call it freedom. It’s the same feeling I have when I jumped through cliffs or pursed up from the water. The only thing that bothers me about it is that I feel that I am alone with this. I am kinda afraid if I force people to do the same, I’m abusing them. I live a life of more instinctual. Due to fact that I am enjoying it so much, I can’t distinguish if I am abusive. I tend to have this philosophy that you live once so grab it, but it’s getting way out of hand.

I go insane like this guy hahahaha

When all of those are over, sometimes I just take a pause, listen to what my heart is saying. But usually it says nothing, just silence. Sometimes I end up in tears. I still can’t figure out where the tears come from, my conclusions so far are that stress from all of the madness or that I am alone with it. I did share these concerns with friends, mostly of them said that I need to take a break from it like sleeping or having a new habit. The only reply I got that made me smile was that no matter how bad I may think of it I can still go back to the innocent me. The raw me when all I cared before were catching up with school and anime; that I know how to go out and get in safely.
 

Yikes! The madness did change me to some good and bad sides. I did make a lot of friends and talk more. Tend to have invites more often unlike before which I have to be mostly alone. I can still remember the days when I was at home waiting for something exciting to happen like an alien invasion. I am abusing my health though due to all of that.

The intervention I did was to take a haitus from it for a month, which I’m trying now. I’m on my third week but I did partied last Saturday due to some ‘heart-breaking’ issues by colleagues. So far I am happy with haitus. My fitness crazy is what my mind is busy from. I just like to have my excess belly to disappear! Hahahahaha kinda nice actually since I’m exposed to fewer toxins and yes I am that desperate. Why? Boredom. The only thing that usually drives me crazy on day offs. Why a month? Well next month is kinda big for me, last days of summer! Plus my sun and sand days are counted so better hit it up. Trying to taper it down, getting my energy back.

 whoever doesn't want to join this kind of crowd?

Obviously if you manage to read it here, stopping the party in me would be kinda miles away. It’s not the eternal happiness that I was looking for…  It’s the people who are the culprits of it. Definitely not hating them, it’s me who thinks that way.

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Take me OUT

My life has somehow take to a path down memory lane. It’s like seeing the cycle again
 

The cycle for me is that you go to some group when you enter every developmental stage of life. The said group is divided to people that belongs to the goody toe shoes or the ones who get high on life and eventually screws up. Every stage of my life I have entered the said group and witnessed the same thing over and over again.
 

Elementary days were my care free moments. It was where we all like to just play and forget the world. Everyone care less on where you came from or what status you are in life as long as everyone is doing his own thing. But as society changes as you grow up hence you change as well. Either good or bad, the changes brought about the environments will forever hold in your future. We witnessed then they are many kids with new bags every school year or that a new toy was out. It’s the start of the trending setting. Playmates has somehow divided into males or females or by status on once life or by any other circumstances.
 

High school days were my said dark days. I guess puberty has its downs on me when I was on it. It was where my emotions ran off its own without even thinking. Still the same thing of statuses and division from ‘popular’ kids to those wealthy bunch, the nerds to those who are geek enough to play all day on rpg games. It didn’t bother me then about this since I don’t care about statuses but on what the person’s ground on life is. Was all materialistic actually, and everyone just likes to pick everyone around including me. This went on til we graduated.
 

College was mellow enough. Still the cycle was there since I joined to a university who mostly are wealthy enough to buy their own car (from parent’s money of course). What I liked about those years was that since I was used to the cycle, everything else seemed boring. I knew the things mostly to what happen or what will happen. Charged that to experience I guess. Instead of whining about it, I just rode unto it and enjoyed which road to take me. Turned out was twisted yet hilarious!
 

My workplace was still the same though. Even those married types, still it was like witnessing elementary kids on having new school bags rather make it new make up. Hahahahaha yet that cycle is still there.

 I just want to get out of this cycle and see another angle [image source]

Hence, I want to exit from that cycle. It’s somehow bored me to death. Mankind’s standards then? Like what Bowling for Soup’s High School Never Ends song tells us, the whole word is pretty obsess on the not so important matters even if you reached 35. But then you look unto you, you still look the same years like before, listen to the same music and eat pretty much the same favorites. Some minor changes are there though but then what I found amazing was that, the close friends I have over the years had the same trend. They were pretty entertaining, not superficial and still could sit around for hours talking nonsense even if we seldom see each other.

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Quarter Life Crisis

Borrowed and read the book, It’s kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. Practically light and fun to read which probably you could finish it by one sitting. I discovered there the term quarter life crises. As what my memory served me, it was like the half of the middle life crises or the age after your teen years where you have to face the reality.

 the book ain't bad, try reading it [image source]

So I googled this one since a friend of mine asked if this thing exist:

‘The quarterlife crisis is a period of life following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult. The term was coined by analogy with mid-life crisis.’

True it exists now since basically I think I have it…
 

According to Erikson’s 8 crises on human being, we have these social crises to overcome in every developmental stage. Adolescent has the identity vs. role confusion. I did however trouble on who I was way back but I did get over it. Young adulthood has intimacy vs. isolation. I guess I have trouble facing reality now due to some intimacy issues I guess. Funny when I just learned about this on college, I said to myself I didn’t experience nay crisis on every stage…yet. I was wrong. It all started to think about it when I had work. I guess I need to get out of there. Somehow work has drawn me into some self-hate. Due maybe to some circumstances of failed responsibilities or that it was so simple that I over analyzed it. Either way still I found some self-hate which scares me.
 

I guess I hate having responsibilities, but I need some finances to survive though. So should I quit then? Sooner maybe but I have to finish the contract then, as for now all I ask is to have passion on it.

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Pseudo Tumblr List # 27

What you wear to bed?

Gender Swap! LOL on this Luffy, Chopper and Usopp pajama party [image source]

I am a huge lover of comfort. Usually I have my routine before going to bed, you know girl clean stuffs. But anyways, I prefer to wear a comfy shirt and shorts. If I can find any silk like clothing on my wardrobe, I usually transform it into sleep wear. Pajamas are ok before I was around elementary days. I guess I just grown out of them.

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Pseudo Tumblr List # 26

What kind of person attracts you?

I’m more into people who has some sense to talk to. It’s not all about materialistic stuff, gossips nor latest trends but are entertaining stuff like knowledge. I love to discover what other people think and their opinions.

law of attraction eh? [image source]

Onto the more physical part, I love guys wearing gray! I dunno a guy wearing a gray shirt with barely shaved head looks so clean to me! White shirts are okay but the gray are so adorable! Clean and nice looking hands are a plus sign as well, I prefer to see the extremities. Don’t forget the ones who knows how to play the instruments. As for the ladies, hmmmm usually the ones who aren’t loud, the ones who are kinda simple and natural looking ones too.

Nothing can still beat the attitude rather than the physical though hehehhe

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Pseudo Tumblr List # 25

How have you changed for the past two years?

I have changed for the past two years…

like this worn out football, we change [image source]

*Physically I’m fatter I guess since I graduated from college
*Emotionally stronger
*Intellectually I dunno yet since my source of knowledge are from work, the net and experience
*Spiritually has grown slightly

I’m more conscious now with myself and the things around me. I think I’m becoming lazier since the free time I got ends up in the net or going out. Hmmm my consume of alcohol has decreased since college, I prefer coffee nowadays. I think more before acting. I still suck at saving part though and cleaning my eyebrows.

In general I can say that I have changed very very much. The attitude part may still be there back in the high school days but yes I thanked my experiences for this.

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PseudoTumblr List # 24

Weird things you do when you’re alone

Apparently I am alone most of the time since my roomies are busy with their own world as well. Usually I tend to consume my me time on the net. Checking out twitter, post a blog, watching movies, doing some catching up with my series or basically sleep.

never tried of burning a school though hehe [image source]

I don’t know if these are weird things but sometimes:

I stare to my blank wall for minutes… and stare some more
I pretend to be a dancer and do those embarrassing moves unto the mirror
Checking out make up tutorials on youtube
Alone on malls I tend to wander on the men’s section for socks
Grab myself coffee or sit to a bottle of alcohol
Daydream some more and ….. (secret!)
Worry that I tend up to tears
Scold myself for some failures and regrets

That’s all that I can remember that I consider them weird things when alone. Hahaha and yes they are not embarrassing for me to share

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Safety Net

So people are into relationships these days, either its straight or gay. I guess I’m on the stage were everywhere you hear people hooking up with whom and etc. I have to admit that it’s getting annoying since I’m alone on that status yet I’m contented of the status I stand. But there these two friends who keep on clinging to each other.

I know I should be supportive of him but no matter what I try to wake the hell up, he will again use some kind of excuse or reasons that someday or somehow they will end up being together. As for the other party, she has gone gay. Gay of trying hooking up with the same sex. It’s a really bad coping mechanism actually from a past relationship that has brought her to change perspectives. It’s really annoying considering she wants it hidden but the actions are so fuck up lame. I mean you can clearly see the evidence and just trying too hard to impress on someone. I don’t know it’s just that this person is so smart on other aspects but chose the path of stupidity.

it's kinda suck being on a relationship which you are just an option [image source]

So I have been a witness of this relationship for years now. The guy is so helplessly hoping for things to work out, I mean he even considers some small body language as of a bigger deal. Hello of course you would make it a big deal since your so into her. As for the girl, she knows that the guy has a serious crush on her but then she just keeps it on the friend status. No idea on the detailed parts but even after college the guy is still clinging on somehow. But the girl has other plans. As she stated that they are just friends.

On my angle or anyone’s angle, you would see that the girl has somehow created a relationship to the guy that somehow no matter what she would do or have, this guy would be around and picks her up no matter what. Like being in a safety net. I don’t know if the guy sees this but I guess he does. I mean for crying out loud he only sees her when hanging out with the gang. His ears are so glued to the girl and that it’s kinda insulting to us. Insulting to that fact that even if we ask a decent conversation, he would stop just too get the girl’s attention. He says so many things that he doesn’t care or anything about her but his actions proves that he already ate his words. I also have this theory that he keeps on bugging out for hangs out so at least he has an excuse to be again with the girl. I don’t know it’s just that I don’t want to be the babysitter again. Yes I experienced being the third tag along and it sucked a lot.

The ironies of being on a safety net. As I look closer on some future possibilities, there is a great deal on that the guy will get the girl. I don’t know but still it’s a pity being on a safety net; being last or just an option. All I can say is good luck to both of them. It’s just that I know there a lots people out there being on a safety net kind of relationship, I say just stop and find another one than clinging on to someone. It’s better to leave and be single than hoping for someone that no matter how you put your acts on him/her, nothing will ever happen rather than friendship. It’s true that being on a friend zone is different on being the lover.

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10 Rules of Being Human

we are all humans after all [image source]

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

Written by Cherie Carter-Scott in Life is a Game, These Are The Rules [source]

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Maybe...

Maybe. . .we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don’t even see the new one which has been opened for us.

just maybe [image source]

Maybe . . . it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can’t go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive; don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

source

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Pseudo Tumblr list # 23

Something you crave for a lot.

insatiable craving then? [image source]

Physically, I crave for food! My taste buds are so eager to try something new or be satisfied. Desserts are my number one to die for food choice. Don’t have a specific favorite dessert though. I like adventuring on delicacies!

Emotionally, I crave for an opposite sex buddy that I could be my pet. Yeah a pet. The one who I could boss around and doesn’t complain hahahaha. I know it’s rude but yeah that’s what I have in mind right now. Kinda nice actually since you know exactly both on your mind and heart that there is someone who would be waiting for you when the entire world gets screwed.

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Pseudo Tumblr list # 22

What makes you different from everyone else?

i think i am different! [image source]

Different? I don’t know exactly but people tell me that I am a different person when they know me better. Like I said, first impressions are usually wrong. Hahahaha

Some say that I act boyish and that my songs preferences are different from that of a lady. I guess I am allergic to all those mushy and love songs. Ballads are not my thing actually.

I still love watching anime and reading Japanese manga at this age. My mother nags about this a lot but what the heck, I love doing it!

Different? Different? I like to try different things and be doing stuff in crazy ways! :D

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Work

Finally! My own net connection is back… I have loads of stuff to write about but time is not my buddy anymore. The ironies of being a nurse has succumbed into my life that I hardly post in this blog of mine… I will not be in hiatus mode or anything it’s just that the adjusting period sucks a lot.

It’s been three weeks since I started as this work of mine as a probationary nurse. Its way way different from the orientation phase plus being in charge of a patient’s care is scary but fun at the same time. Scary since you have to deal with not only the patient but on his significance others as well. It’s just that people are different and have different opinions, tempers and smells. As for the co-workers they helped you a lot, although you have to deal with some explaining from them and loads of must-to-dos before you tell your side of the story. Hence I just listen, smile a lot and pretend that you’re ok or else everyone around you will piss you off even further. Fun part would be the stupid little things you had as a beginner (i.e. hots sitz bath chair that forgot to close so water came rushing in when poured)Experience is the best teacher for your skills to develop. The sharpening of these skills is by far needs to be sharpened a bit more. Mostly if the people you work with are cool then work will be cool as well. I did however make new colleagues that were pretty awesome as well. Even if I was freaking out in the middle of the hours (i.e. newly admitted patient who was fine went on cardiac arrest suddenly), I still never failed to have help from them. Others well need to adjust on their attitude since like I said you can’t please everyone.

I would dream to be my job like her but reality has its own surprise. This series is cool to

The only thing that I have to find it annoying was that on the load assignments. It’s like winning on a race track which I sometimes hate coz I let others pick first. And yes respect from seniors also. The station I am somehow belongs to cases with deep internal medicine. Tertiary cases are here and mostly patients have somehow have history of being confine to the hospital. Cardiac arrests are frequent visitors to the station as well.

Summer months are here so basically I am stuck on this four boxed walls alone. My brother had graduated from college so he’s at home and my cousin is on vacation mode. Good thing I still have net connection at home, the net connection which appeared suddenly out of nowhere that we, the less fortunate ones were lucky to leech on it. I seldom go out these days due to work and my mother has become my best friend. I find it quite weird yet ok since she’s a nurse and well she can really relate to the things I’ve been going on. We had these conversations about her first experiences both good and bad. Ironic part of our conversations would be the day she mentioned that she shouldn’t let me became a nurse instead proceed to medicine or have an office kind of work. She should have realized that years ago but this career had grown in me. It’s like learning to love it dunno but being passionate about it yet but I learned to love it during college. I understood somehow the physical and emotional aspect of man plus being able to help others feels kinda good. When you realized that a patient of yours was extubated and was recovered during one of your care. Relieving it is that somehow your care was effective enough.

Sorry if I have been blabbing about work too much on this post, this would be the first and the last since I have no intentions of posting like this on the future. I just need to ventilate somehow to things I’ve been going through. Until then I have to make some posts that are quite interesting to me and to the one who is reading this. ^^

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Pseudo Tumblr list # 21

A picture of something that makes you happy.


This is Song Joong Ki. I just recently caught him from the drama Sungkyunkwan Scandal as the adorable Goo Yong Ha. His wink make me melt all the time hai. I can't explain the feeling when every time he pops out on the scenes *wink* just that he plays great and he knows how to play Yong Ha too well.

Here's an added video on his wink cuts, really thank the person who uploaded this waaaah

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Pseudo Tumblr list # 20

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.

I will arrive to this scenario soon but not now [image source]

If you ask me directly, my automatic reply would be with Lee Dong Wook or with Cho Kyuhyun or Ju In Sung. I am that determined to be with them hahahhahaha LOL

But seriously I have no one in my mind when talk about marriage. This word is somehow so distant to me. No plans of having children or starting a family. My vision of as an independent career woman always enters my mind when talk about future stuff. Yes I do have crushes like the lefty island, wookie look a like or the gray man but totally marriage is a different thing. I do have my dream wedding but my dream groom is still missing in action. LOL

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Spilling Myself

"Actions speak louder than Words"

Never quite believe this statement until recently.

I am a person that kinda has many blind spots to one self. I maybe a keen observant to others but I am zero when it comes to me. Zero specifically when it comes to people of the opposite sex. Many say that so many guys have given me some 'signals' but I just won't budge. I didn't quite get that at first until a demo was placed. The demo was base on a glass of water. I was this water nearly full in a glass. No matter what a guy threw at me or try to shake me off so he can get some of this water, nothing works. It's like I'm spill proof or something that you can't get the good stuff. It hit me when some weird scenarios flashed through my mind. Yes there were 'signals' but I was preoccupied of something else.

I need to be like this than being a spill proof [image source]

My face was ok to look at but my mind looked like this O_O

My good friend was the one who gave me this insight and yes it was a pretty clear one.

It gave some things about me, answers that I was dying to know before. Seriously I have no idea that there such a thing as body language that can tell which to which... Although there were a handful scenarios that flashed which I kinda find it regrettable or funny. Regrettable coz it involved some of them which were kinda ok... Funny coz I never thought that it was a signal hahaha and yes they could have get away with it.

It also hit me that my mind usually chooses who will get the good stuff. If I found out someone or something is 'weird' to me I usually step on a break for a checkpoint. Or that I am really really having no idea if he's sending me signals in what so ever. Thus, I am still single... I am quite contended though of the single life except for my mom. I have no idea why but she's somehow trying to present me to some of my flaws and gets back to reasons why I am still single. Pressure? No biggy my mind is set to the dream board I have. Lonely nights? Nah if you think of it on the other side those lonely nights will turn to fruitful events.

Eye opener then... But what I would like to have is to learn those body language. There are lots I mean lots of them. I just want to learn and apply them to myself; I mean come on knowing the stuff you’re like having the idea of what the guy is thinking. Reading someone's mind would be awesome!

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Pseudo Tumblr list # 19

Nicknames you have and why you have them.

i blame my name for my passion of food [image source]

My real name is Chesara, it was derived from a film both my parents saw. My mother wanted our names start with ‘CH’ like in Christ. So yeah I have two nicknames that signifies me what area you belong to :D

Chez is my favorite nickname since I invented it. My true name has three syllables and we all wanted a shorter version of our names so here it is. At first I was called chess, like the piece game. It was kinda common, so I tried dropping the last s, still it was missing something. Then I just randomly played with it by placing s with a z. It sounded ok and it was spelled just right thus it was born! I usually use this with friends and classmates. Plus it was easy for them to remember my name since it resembles cheese.

Crap is another nickname which is exclusively used on family. My auntie was the one who invented this. There is a local brand name of cheese spread named ‘Kraft’. Yes since my name resembles cheese a lot, my auntie wanted to call me this but somehow it evolved into something ‘bisdak’ due to local toughness of the visayan language. So Crap was born! I do prefer calling me Crap than Kraft though and I don’t mind if it means garbage to other language. Relatives from both sides use this and I mean exclusively on family.

I hate being called Sara, it doesn’t sound like me. Not only that it’s a common name, the Sara that I usually perceive is someone who is from a high class breed of nobility who acts all lady-like. I am a lady though but I can’t pull off a lady-like appearance on most people.

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Buzz (an update)

Been days since I've posted something here in my blog due to some reasons that I am so proud off...

the buzz! as what Boy Abunda would say on tv every sunday [image source]

I start when I got the call from the hospital I was hoping to get in, kinda hectic since the ferry and boat tickets were full. I was able to bought one without any hassle and I was rescheduled so was ok...The thing I was embarrassed to share was that my parents secured something, a letter to one of the owner's siblings. It was stated that I was eligible for the position. Really don't like a thing about getting that kind of 'help'. Of course I protested but my mom insisted to give it anyway since it wasn't easy to secure such thing plus the competition of landing a job on a prestigious hospital is so high. My parents were friends on the social circle of the administration, my pride wouldn't allow it. Instead of passing it, I just hid it from anyone else. I had no guts to face the administration or who what so ever and present such thing. Literally I called myself mad but I risked myself on it. I didn't have any second thoughts or whatso ever that I wouldn't get in. Yes I did get in which I am so proud of myself. Even my parents thought because of that letter is the reason why I did. It feels wonderful that somehow thinking positively instead of worrying is really a great help! As for the letter, let's just say I'm keeping it, a reminder that anything is possible once you set your mind to it...

As for other aspects of life, my old friends from college are back! It sort of a mini get together since we usually don't get to chance to sit down and talk... It was a relief from all the new aspects of life that we are facing and that I got to see that without constant exposure, we still manage to sit down like we were yesterday. The psych part of it all is that, I never ever told my whole being but they manage to know me by actions. Somehow conversations with meanings fuel me up. You see when I entered junior college, everything went so fast. I was caught by the academics plus the social scenes that I was in to. The new friends I hang out with gave importance to parties and gossips. I never know from the fact that I was doing this and that when eventually today, it bores me. Yes it does depend on the people you’re with but that kind of pleasure only lasts for hours. But the meaningful conversations would last for years, so I guess that’s what I find weird. It did occur to me however that some people just have different views in life and yes the things I questioned myself before finally answered just by sitting down and talk.

I never felt happy or so far great ever since. The practice of living positively is so wonderful but there are some points you have to master. Thus again I'm sharing rather pushing people to stop worrying.

balancing between work and earning extra [image source]

The hectic schedules I have between my work and the network marketing I have is killing me though. I want to master the two of them but I have to cling to my job first, which is kinda hard right now but non the less. This is want I want and I have to live up to it.

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