Whinings

Eventually it’s been a month before posting any stuff on my blog…

As for a little update kinda busy with work, not having my laptop at home since the bro harbors it a lot for his review and my days off consist of drinking both alcohol and caffeine that I just slumber to bed when I arrived late.

For starters I just had to change my blog interface, the old one was getting a bit too crowded. Was looking for a cleaner look plus getting those codes are a fuss. For now I like my orange style though, and the monkey offers me a sense of welcome to my page.

And oh yes, the bro didn’t mentioned to me about reformatting the damn laptop, so my precious bookmarks and blog entries that weren’t published yet are gone forever. Now I have to start from scratch to eventually make up some lost data. My pseudo tumblr list is gone that I have to link a new one or more like continue to a new list without cutting it off. Hai life sucks sometimes…

this picture states it all

Typically I’m bored even though I am back to my pace life of busy and party. I guess my age has suggested to look for some ‘newer’ excitement install for me.

I don’t get it why I am this bored na with life in general.

Work is fine so far even if I am now assigned to ICU in a just 4 months of probation; so far so good on the job and taking care of those patients. The only thing I dreaded the most is the spongbath with perineal care kinda of thing. Swiping of other people’s butt is no joke and really gross too. Although the work is ok I do miss sometimes the business of it on the floor, where you can see time flies so fast. Hai like I said life sucks and that it’s life why I entered this kind of career anyway.

with the 5a station staff, kinda miss working with them

went zipline with them at Papakits Danao

lastly, food tripping with them

As for other aspect, I’ll be turning 23 soon and I’m broke out of hell. I also have to work on that day since I forgot to ask for a day off since they make schedules really early. I dunno what to splurge on but my only rule is that I must get up and thank the Big Guy above for me to breathe in this past 23 years. The materialistic stuff could come after though and that I should learn how to save save and save some more.

Still single though, but that part is the least one that I am having trouble with. I just want something weird or exciting to happen. Something that entertains me somehow cause really I’m bored bored bored with my life today.

Reading this entry makes me kinda sad… it sounds like my life is on constant motion to repeating. I must I must post some other stuff besides this… hey this is an update anyway

Read more

You Ok?

When meeting with familiar faces my first question would be normally ‘how’s life’ or ‘are you ok’ sort of phrases. Normally they would reply with a smile or simple ‘I’m ok’ kind of statement. Then again, these questions have been used so many times already that it has been so generalized. Generalized to a sense that there are loads of aspects in a man’s life that you can’t simply just put it on a simple phrase as OK. Hence, the true meaning of a man’s answer for this question has overshadowed it.

got me thinking [image source]

I’m not saying that when you say yes to this question you are lying to yourself. I just want to clarify it. Since it is been use on repeat that our brains put it as a template. So general right?

Ever since this has struck on my mind, I begin to wonder that question. I mean why just simply ask directly to what you really need to know instead of this opening phrase. I know it’s kinda rude just to ask directly but it somehow annoys me. So I end up over analyzing what to reply on the question and end up with gazillion replies instead.

I noticed people to be so protective when it comes to their emotions. Everyone seems to be afraid when they are on the downs, I know I am. Still I have a hard time of releasing the trust I give to people. Yes letting people in to your lives is hard but making them as regular or valued customers is harder.

How about you? How’s your life after reading this?

Read more

10 Rules of Being Human

we are all humans after all [image source]

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

Written by Cherie Carter-Scott in Life is a Game, These Are The Rules [source]

Read more

Sour Bloodline

I had this so called dilemma in my head when my first two cousins started to live with us in college. What I didn’t think about it was what a pain in the ass my world would be living with them. Never realize that the people you grow up together with would be totally different once you live with them.

So at first, I thought it would be so much fun I mean at least I could have another person to talk to when my brother isn’t around. Backfired. It went something like being constantly nagging on how everything was a mess. Three years had passed and still there are some major issues that I would really like to clarify with them especially the girl. At that time I didn’t have the guts to share it in this blog since causing trouble would add more fuel to the argument.

My cousins are both on the same grade in college, girl and boy but the boy is older. They go to the same university as I did so I was being a chaperon/cousin/roommate/guardian at that time. I was the eldest so I was given the responsibility of looking out the younger ones, as to my nature I really don’t like being strict and make some rules but there are some people who are really hard headed.

The first few months of the semester, it was okay. My junior college at that time was hell since I was loaded both physically and mentally in school. Home was like a sanctuary of sleep to me and wants it clean. Personally I am not a clean freak but of course I know the difference between a mess and a pile of mess. At first I didn’t mind the little trash or the smell but it was getting into my nerves. I would constantly see the unwashed dishes in the sink or the garbage bag wasn’t thrown out yet or the amounts of hair stuck on the bathroom floor. I reminded everybody about it yet the same results, even my brother started to complain about it. The only good thing I witnessed was that at least the boy cousin knows how to clean stuffs; the girl was kinda pain on the ass. I don’t know maybe she is that lazy or doesn’t know how to clean stuffs but for crying out loud, she’s a girl! She should be the one who is more conscious about her surroundings but instead her brother is the one usually doing it! Tsk

having extended family living with you has its ups and downs [image source]

And oh don’t get me started on the other stuff. Personally I don’t care if they get their first boyfriends or girlfriends but at least they should tell me not hide from it. Naturally you should be careful on to whom you trust in this world, especially if you are a girl. Let me ask you; is it ok for a girl to be alone in a taxi with your newly met male classmates? Unless if you know those guys quite well right? Another question; is it ok for a girl to be alone with a guy and be invited to go to a mountain view with the guy’s high school barkada? For crying out loud I mean why would be the girl go after a guy, have some dignity left! Plus when we tried calling on the guy’s cellphone, he wouldn’t answer just end it. Who wouldn’t be worried then? Those were some stuff that happened three years ago and just recently. Who wouldn’t be suspicious if almost all of my college classmates claimed that they saw my girl cousin with a guy eating alone on a food chain or that they were constantly spotted on a mall together or that they were so sweet together holding hands and stuff? When I asked her, she usually denies it. That’s the sour part, denying in front of me while others have evidences shesh! Then it gets to the point that she constantly comes home late in the evening on a school night. When I asked her brother her where abouts, he had no idea; I was getting pissed off since no freshmen can be that demanding on time to work on academics. Plus her brother comes home before her and they had the same schedule. It was really hard since my auntie keeps on checking on them every day and I had to make some excuses so that it won’t get to the point of panic. Really I was in a position that I really dislike, holding authority to someone’s freedom but her actions forced me to do it.

I have to admit I was also guilty on coming home late also during weekends usually I unwind myself due to stress in school. It’s sort of therapy every weekend since junior year in nursing is hell, maybe she saw me as an example but during school nights that’s a different story.

Things got way out of hand that finally the news reached the grownups. It was chaotic and I have no idea what was her defense though. But I am pretty sure she did some covering up on some parts of her story since it’s more like we (me, my bro and her bro) were to blame. I don’t get it but they prefer her story than her bro’s, the more truthful side. Yes it was unfair but I have no choice. I just shut up about it and ignored the situation so that nobody can get beaten up further.

When they moved out of the room and transferred to the other one, it was a relief for me. At least I don’t have to deal anymore on the mess and I don’t have to face with the same dilemmas over and over again. Presently, the mess I kept on mentioning is present on their room as we speak. Really it’s like a storm in there plus her brother usually is the one who cleans the room often, poor thing. I could still hear them having fights, even our landlady said so herself. I don’t know and I scarcely see her sometimes though in a week. Usually her excuses are duties and projects but there is something fishy on her story I mean you know exactly what to expect since I’ve been there! Hai it’s giving me a pain but like I said I just shut up about it and hope nothing major happened to her.

Now, their younger sister is entering college now together with my cousin who is my roommate as well. Ironically, my roommate cousin has somehow faces the same problems as I and my brother experienced with the elder sister. Like her elder sister, she chases after this guy which, according to my cousin, is ‘way pamatasan’ (no proper morality) or still doesn’t like to clean up with the mess. I don’t know how these people were raised but it’s kinda really annoying! Is this some kind of sickness that runs on these sisters? I mean look at their older siblings, they weren’t like that. They were more responsible and I really respect them a lot. My roommate cousin was the one who had a tight situation last summer because she was forced to spill on the grownups. It was like hell as she described it. Relationships broken plus her trust from her parents also was bitten. She had no choice, all she wanted was everybody’s safety but when it comes to a situation when you are labeled as the bad guy, you will do anything just to be innocent. Hai yes it was a pain again on the head. Now, my roommate cousin still said that nothing has changed after summer; the girl still chases the guy. She constantly reminds her that but her actions is still the same. I don’t know I mean that cousin of mine is really one bright student when it comes to academics but a loser when it comes to life.

The sad part is that their mother defends them more and gets mad when we say ill to her children. Naturally she’s a mother but if only she knows the whole truth about stuffs then maybe she will change her mind. All we want is everybody’s safety because really these kids are like immature flies waiting for some evil frog to swallow them whole. Don’t tell me they will only realize when something bad happen to them, then it’s not a problem of ours anymore.

Ignore ignore and ignore some more. Somehow it seems to work fine to us. Yet being worried because of their actions gives me some dilemmas as well. Like what my brother said, it’s their life they are old enough to make decisions. Yes they are old enough but we don’t want a relative to suffer due to regret.

They still have three girl siblings that have to enter college. I don’t know what these girls have I just wish they wouldn’t be like the others since it will be another pain on the head again.

Read more

Knocking on Mr. Brain: Chapter 4

Random thought 10: friends

Mixing old friends with new ones
Usually I don’t like the idea on mixing since conversations are hard to pass through
I don’t like the idea also on having to lead the conversations, I hate thinking
Or making up to pass time
It would be a splendid sight seeing them together
Talking or exchanging jokes
Tired I guess it should be to whom should be


Random thought 11: money

I’m horrible in saving money
It’s just like they just poof away from me
Dead broke and there is no one I can run to
My roomies are complaining
Hell yeah the shit part is its true
It’s my fault for spending unnecessary
Screw money!


Random thought 12: make up

Seriously I can’t stop watching those video beauty blogs on youtube
Its like a part of me actually likes to try ahead and slabber my face with oil or powder
Honestly its quite fun doing stuff I dunno maybe some other side of me is like that
Hmmmm I don’t hate it, just its odd that I find these stuff interesting now
Of all the age group I’m under now hahaha but hey at least now I know
Hot pluck my furry eyebrows clean hehehe


image source [here]

Read more

Knocking on Mr. Brain: Chapter 3

Random thought 7: old entries

Reading old entries on this blog is weird but refreshing
Led me to reflect the way I write and why I wrote it
I am no writer since my grammar is so terrible
I should thank him for this, for this blog to be alive again
Even now, he has no idea that this blog exist
The every emotion I put my post into
There were no labels, just a post with words
Words that I find them difficult to deal before
Yet amusing now, thank you


Random thought 8: skin tight jeans

Thanks to Katy Perry’s song Teenage Dream, this phrase has been stuck
Literally stuck that I dreamt bout a vampire letting him playing with his fingers
Around me, yikes danger but he wasn’t biting or anything
Just putting his hands unto my back pockets, whispering some words
Can’t remember exactly the words, only my right fingers around his occiput
Gorgeous! Of all why have to be a vampire, he looks gay though haha
But when he drew closer, a familiar face smiled at me
One of the best dreams I can remember


Random thought 9: cool

The weather is perfect for sleeping
Love this weather except if I’m literally under the wetness
I guess we're cool with the person I despise with
There was no war but it doesn’t matter
I’m not even pushing on him
At least he somehow communicated
Yet it’s nice to know we’re cool


**image source

Read more

Knocking on Mr. Brain: Chapter 2

image source

Random thought 4: Anxiety
Stress beckons to our world that leads to fear
Fear of the unknown, yet mild anxiety is healthy
Just don’t loose yourself
It’s ugly when you are out of control

Random thought 5: Facebook
Waiting until my food are all ready to be serve
What if life is simple like that, waiting for things to poof
That world would be like heaven
No worries just waiting for something…
Heaven? I guess facebook doesn’t exist in that world
Since man created it, likely it would be rejected during the main entrance
Unlike Olympus, that way Zeus would be updated

Random thought 6: Floating
Whenever I hear the soundtracks from Pride and Prejudice and Hana Kimi
I get the feeling of wanting to be with those clouds again
The ones were pinned on the blue sky
Thinking about it made me remember the times when stuck in a boat trip
I prefer to seat near the windows, where the clouds perform
Underneath those blue sky is where I would like to be
But it end up falling anyway, to a person unworthy

Read more

Knocking on Mr. Brain: The Intro

Random thought 1: Reasons

Is there a possibility of a situation that exist without any reasons? No
Everything happens to a reason according to philosophy.
Reasons exist because of choices. The choices we used had consequences. So man invented parallel universe for other choices to exist.
Curse you song from D’sound entitled ‘Do I need a Reason’ for these stanzas to live
I wonder what kind of parallel universe my other selves look like. I solemnly wish for this universe to have the 5 wishes granted.
1 wish down! Four remains and the 4th one is fast approaching. This September.

Random thought 2: Drying Undergarments

The random thought 1 had to die soon because of my eyes.
My brother had invented a faster way of drying undergarments in doors overnight.
How? By tossing it like a hula hoop of course.
Physics should be the winner of all of this with the help of air.
Not only that it’s helpful, its fun too. You’ll be imagining like a cowboy, with your undergarment as a rope to catch the bad guys
He’s been using this method for a year now. To my surprise it worked. No failed experiments
His best clients, my two cousins: a girl and a boy
Spotted both of them tossing undergarments on the balcony and inside the bathroom
Hang it dry near an air conditioning or electric fan for better results

Random thought 3: Coffee

Been on thinking about it lately, it’s become my source of energy
Worst part, it has been kind of a vitamin
Happy that I’m living healthily with no alcohol for almost 2 months now
Yet the suspect now is coffee, especially the caramel macchiato of Starbucks
Tried the non caffeinated ones like the hot chocolates from Coffee Bean and Bo’s
But the espresso shots are like love bugs calling me
So now I’m broke as hell with all the caffeine inside of me
Plus I’m like a walking zombie wanting some coffee instead of brains

Read more